Loss of Breath

I don't know how many of you have ever had an asthma attack.  Or even just lost your breath really bad.  That tightness, that panic, you just don't know where your next breath is going to come from.  The last year or so has been rough.  I feel like I had a spiritual asthma attack...a spiritual loss of breath.  It felt like life took my breath away.  I was in a slump emotionally, spiritually, and physically.  Exhaustion was my constant companion.  Peace seemed far away and God even farther.  

Every day made my "chest" tighter & tighter.  My husband passes out due to exhaustion...puff...days and days of waiting to see where we would call home next...puff puff...a daughter struggling...puff...student loans growing & growing...puff...Nebraska is so far from everybody...puff...letting go is too hard...puff puff...I feel guilty for loving it here...puff...she's pregnant...puff...I can't help, I'm no good to anyone...puff...I need my Mom...puff...what is my purpose?...a life gone...puff puff...I have no power...puff..................

My family and friends would give me little breaths of rejuvenation, which I needed badly and am extremely grateful for.   It seemed temporary.  A quick fix, a shot of adrenaline.  But I was missing something very important.  Do you notice something from the cycle I showed above?  The Puffs!  I was still breathing.  And why was I still breathing...the Breath from Heaven!

One of my favorite song says it best:

I am waiting in silent prayer

I am frightened by the Lord I bear

In a world as cold as stone

Must I walk this path alone?

Be with me now, be with me now

Breath of Heaven, hold me together

Be forever near me, Breath of Heaven

Breath of Heaven, lighten my darkness

Pour over me Your holiness, for You are holy

Breath of Heaven

God never left me.  In the shallow, hurried breaths...He was there.  He is here!  He will always be with me.  How do I know?  Because He says so.  "Be strong and courageous.  Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the Lord your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you."  (Deuteronomy 31:6)  Life can never take me breath away because His breath is the source of my life!

P.S. Check out this video of Breath of Heaven.  It's awesome!